Hazards of Working In a Restaurant

…especially when it’s a delicious Italian one.

Yes. I have discovered that it is quite dangerous to work at a place with good food. Not that it is a job where I eat all day long or anything like that, but it is a job that provides you with food if you work for a full shift. And that food is – pasta. Or pizza. Or ceaser salad with homemade croutons. Damn. 

Plus there is the gelato temptation. And yes, there is sugar in that.

But! It is all made in house! That means it’s 100% real right? Not processed? Not packaged??! Not bad for me at all…

*cough cough*

Water, Water, Everywhere

I love drinking water. It’s refreshing, it’s great for me, it’s easy to get, and usually cheap (except at concerts and airports). Nothing quenches thirst better. But still it is only my second favorite drink in the world. ‘Cause it doesn’t always taste the same. Sometimes it actually doesn’t taste good at all. Sometimes it even smells bad (sulphur!). Even when it comes from a bottle it can disappoint me (deer park for some reason).

But diet coke – I love diet coke always.

As you can understand this is not a good thing. I know that diet coke is a dangerous thing to love. It isn’t good for me. It has fake sugar lurking in it. People are researching its link to cancer and other health risks. My mom praises me when I go for periods of time without consuming it. But I could never resist it forever. I always end up caving and grabbing a cold, bubbly, delicious…you get it.

I’ve cut back at least. When I was in college I drank it at least once a day. Usually more than that (lunch AND dinner). Since then I’ve always seemed to work at places where I can drink it for free. Definitely a temptation. But, I know that it is truly a bad habit to have, and one day I should quit it forever. As of today it was 5 days…was. Before that, almost a month.

Oh diet coke, why can’t you be healthy and good for me?

Sources, Helpfuls, and So Ons

Alright, after a little bit of research I decided maybe I’m insane to want to get rid of processed foods in my diet. After more research I determined that I’m definitely insance, but that there are plenty of others like me out there. And that I need to make a few exceptions.

One of the first blogs I found dealing with this was Simply Cooking. It was an old post – 2 years old, but it didn’t end there. New posts date up until this month. It was pointed out that maybe it is better to try to stay from “packaged foods” instead of all processed foods. This makes lots of sense…I’m not sure if at this point in my life I’d be able to make all my own everything. I can’t grow my own vegetables, I don’t think I can finance a diet of no processed foods at all. This will be a big transition no matter how I look at it.

I also read a lot of posts from a blog called 100 Days of Real Food. It isn’t just 100 days though, it’s 100 days several times. So this has been possible for many people. Others have been able to make their life work with “real” food, and they have families, and busy lives, and aren’t making excuses.

I need to think a lot about this. I’ve been able to change my snack choices from sweet treats to healthier options, but those include pretzels and crackers. Can I make my own, well I know I could, but would I? I’m going to keep whittling away at the food I eat, trying to make it better, but I want to see what I can do. What I can do sensibly. What I can do reasonably. No more research. I need to think about what will work for me.

Moving in the Right Direction

I had a wonderful time during my week visiting my mom in New York. But, I bet you all know how weeks at home are. Good breakfast, filling lunches, delicious dinners. Dining out. Extra ice cream. Ice coffee breaks and splitting a baked good. Oops forgot to exercise. But hiking counts anyway right?

Somehow I am guilt free. Shouldn’t we have these times without care? Should we always be extra careful about calories and the danger of fats? Yes, sugar is still bad. No, I did not need second helpings of the carb loaded fill-in-the-blank.

The best news in all of this? I feel rejuvenated. I feel like I have some control, some power in my life again. I’m not just on a ride, I have the steering wheel. Alright, alright, I’ll stop being so corny. But I really think I turned a corner. Now I can really concentrate on what is good for me. I do not believe for one second that it will be easy. Today maybe, but tomorrow? And some stress factors are still around that I haven’t quite shaken. I’m not going to pretend that my mind is completely clear and calm.

For now I am in charge of myself, and I know what road I need to take. I will continue to avoid sugars, and as best I can processed foods. I can’t be too strict on that count (costs, ease of access, not wasting things I already have in my cabinet…). For instance, for now I will be consuming pretzels from a bag, not from my oven. I still have jarred pasta sauce that I refuse to leave unused. I am going to do some research on others who go the unprocessed route. I’d love some input…I know nothing can be done without help and advice.

Out of Sight, Out of Mind?

I am still surprised at all the places sugar is hidden. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to get to that point where I am not consuming any sugar at all. How do people do it? Anything with yeast in it probably have sugar also. Dairy – sugar! And I have been able to find peanut butter that only has peanuts, and jelly that only has fruit syrup…but what a hunt (and expense!). It seems strange that to eat right and healthy, you must track down things and spend more in the process. No wonder people eat so much junk when it is right there at lower prices. I hate to sound cheap here, but come on, I’m a recent graduate with school loans to pay, not to mention the everyday cost of living. I don’t have a ton of extra money floating around to buy organic, free range, all natural, better-for-me things. Yes I shop at Aldi. And no they do not have plain goat’s milk yogurt or granola bars with unrefined sugar. Of course I wish I could shop at farmer’s markets and stores like Whole Foods and Earthfare. But how do I do that and still spend less than $15 on my grocery shopping (yes, thankfully I work at a restaurant so I have one meal covered each day I work)? I understand that the money I spend on raw almonds goes back to tons of people who put in the work to get those almonds to me, but somehow it doesn’t all seem to even out. The more I want to eat “right” the more I see that at this point in my life, maybe “right” has to be changed to “more right than wrong at least”. 

Causes and other Causes

I keep thinking that if I can figure out what it is exactly that makes me want to scarf down 50 cookies at a time, that I can solve the problem. But I feel like it is difficult to narrow it down. Is it just one thing? It is probably emotional, but that is pretty generic. I eat when I am happy and when I am sad, so it isn’t just when I am down that I desire an abundance of food. I’m not always stressed, and I don’t always feel bored. Is it a distraction? Is it filling an emptiness? Am I lonely, or is it because it is comforting? What is the draw of food? Obviously in my case, sugary treats especially. It’s still a mystery. Why do I eat so much? Why do I feel hungry even after eating too much? I hate having so many questions. Maybe I need to take up mediation or something.

Done? Never.

Well.

I haven’t been so good. As far as sugar goes that is.

I’d like to rationalize it, or give a bunch of excuses, but mostly I just feel weak and failure-ish. The harder I try to convince myself in the morning that I can make it through the whole day, the sooner I pick up a donut from the box that someone brought to work, or the more brown sugar I eat straight from the bag when I get home just because it’s there and I can.

But today I start again, again. For real. Because I’m not going to give up on myself. And if I mess up today I’ll do it tomorrow, and do it right. But I think today is the day this time. I started the day off right – grits, fried egg (over hard), and a banana. Oh and coffee of course. I’m prepared with a small bag of almonds. My mind is in the place it needs to be to succeed. It just needs to stay there. I’m not going to sneak crumbs of cake at work, or eat the york mints that sit on the counter. I got this. I’m strong. Maybe I wasn’t yesterday, but today I am for sure.

Setbacks

This week I had a bit of a misstep.

On Tuesday morning I discovered that my scooter (that I’ve only a had for a month) had been stolen. After dealing with the police, the insurance company, having to go to work all day…I was really bad and ate a whole huge piece of cake. Then the next day I had a bunch of peppermint patties. I wish I could really rationalize this because of the traumatic loss of my only means of transportation besides the bus (that doesn’t run on Sundays). But my quality of health depends on me not letting life problems set me back. There are going to be bad days. That shouldn’t make me run to sugar as a solution. It doesn’t make me feel better. It actually just makes me feel worse, because I feel like I failed by turning back to sugar after being so good for almost three weeks.

What’s the answer? I’m still looking. I just need to pull myself together and start again I guess.

5 Quick Sugarless Inspirations

1. “My Years Without Sugar” is a blog that you probably have seen already. A woman who in 2008 gave up sugar for a year, but still today posts about the dangers of sugar and offers recipes and advice. Here is a link to one of her recipes that is found in a post I really enjoyed reading (and strongly identified with): Nothing Cookies

2. Simply Sugar & Gluten Free - Another website that is helping me out. Another woman who realized sugar was not a good part of her life. She did something about it, and now she is healthy and beautiful and has this great website and events to help others.

3. Running. It relieves stress, it makes me feel better, and it keeps me healthier. Is it easy? Not usually, unless I’m having a super lazy day and basically walking in a running kind of way. Something that helped me along the way? A podcast. One of the first experiences I had with a podcast actually. It is by Mia, or “Chubby Jones” and it is one of those “couch to 5k” podcasts. It really works. I love listening to Mia help me along as I run, I enjoy the music choices, and it keeps me more motivated than if I always ran alone with just my regular old tunes. You can go straight to itunes or to chubbyjones.com

4. My Mom. She doesn’t care if I tell her everything that I eat so that I feel accountable to someone. She praises me for working out as if I ran a marathon. She never makes me feel like a failure when I mess up. But she reminds me how important it is that I take care of myself. And she tells me new info about vitamin D and emails me interesting health articles. Find someone who loves you and tell them whatever your goals are. They will support you, and God it really helps. (By the way. These are not in any order. My mom is and will always be my number 1 inspiration)

5. My last quick inspiration is the future. I have an idea of how I want it to be, of places I want to go, and the person I want to be. Below is a picture of Banff, Canada. It is part of my dream trip that I have been planning, and one day hope to actually take. (Thank you whomever took this picture!) I need to concentrate on where I am going and all the great things that could happen. Who cares if sugar isn’t involved? Why is it so important to me? It causes me so many problems. It isn’t necessary to my happiness. Sure, maybe I won’t be able to have mint chocolate chip ice cream ever again, but there are plenty of other things I can and will have that are just as good or better. 

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Sugar Free Cookbook Rant

The other day I went to Barnes and Noble and I was disappointed to see that there weren’t really any cookbooks that called out to me this time. Usually that really isn’t a problem. But with my new sugar free living plan, I was looking for something that offered delicious treats that could be made without refined sugar. I found many gluten free offerings, vegan/vegetarian choices, and the closest – cookbooks aimed at people with diabetes. Have people not really explored this? Or am I just not looking in the right place?

I keep forgetting that in the scheme of things, the danger of sugar is not very well known yet. But Runner’s World just posted this article: Sugar Linked to Heart Disease and Cancer? Maybe the word will spread, but based on the amount of soda we sell at work, I’m not so sure. So I guess I’ll just have to start experimenting myself. I have to keep in mind that I am not replacing my gluttony of refined sugar with a gluttony of “healthier” sugars (evaporated cane syrup, pure maple syrup…?). I think I was just hoping to find someone who has already taken this journey for a little support.